It’s not uncommon for guys to become attracted to sisters of their friends. When the attraction is mutual and a dating relationship develops, there are some guidelines that should be followed in order to keep the original friendship intact. Here are ten tips to avoid issues when you’re dating your friend’s sister:
1. Don’t take sides: If there’s a disagreement between your friend and his sister, do not take sides. Insist on remaining neutral and not being brought into the middle of the argument. It is a no-win situation for you, should you voice any opinion at all.
2. Don’t share stories: This works both ways. Don’t share stories about his sister with him, and don’t share stories about things your friend has done with his sister. Keep your lips sealed tight.
3. Don’t double date: There may be some brothers and sisters who would be comfortable on a double date, but most would not be. You don’t want your friend watching your every move with his sister, and she probably doesn’t either.
4. Stay on good terms: This would not be a good time to get your friend upset with you. He has the ear of your girl, and he could do irreparable harm to your relationship with her, if he was inclined to do so.
5. Gain inside knowledge: Use your relationship with your friend to gather some insight into what his sister likes and doesn’t like. You have access to a great resource, if he’s willing to assist.
6. Treat her well: If he hears news from her, or anyone else, that you have been anything, but a knight in shining armor, you could lose a friend and gain an enemy, very quickly. Be on your best behavior with this lady.
7. Watch what you say: This can be applied in several ways. Anything you say about your friend, may be carried back to him via his sister. Anything you say about her, could be carried back to her through her brother. Do not discuss your relationship with one, with the other.
8. Remember the relationship: This fits along with the previous tip. Be careful about what you say about the sibling in front of your friend or your girl. Always remember that, in their eyes, you’re talking about their brother/sister, not ‘your friend’ or ‘your girl’.
9. Don’t break her heart: This is one of the biggest dangers that you risk in dating the sister of one of your friends. What will happen when you break up? If she feels wounded or betrayed, her tears are not likely to go over to well with her brother. Ending your relationship with her could potentially end your relationship with your friend.
Don’t neglect him: Be careful not to give the impression that you’re no longer interested in your friend, or don’t have time for him, once you start dating his sister. See #4 for one good reason; the other is that you don’t want to give the impression that you were using his friendship to get connected to his sister.
Weigh out the complications before deciding to enter into one of these sibling relationships. They can get a bit sticky at times, depending on the maturity of those involved.
By Donna Cullen