Leave it to us sci-fi enthusiasts to dork up the casual encounters listings.
Anyone who knows me remotely well is in on the fact that I'm a closeted nerd. Just kidding, the only thing closeted about my nerdy proclivities is that I don't keep my old comics out in the open, as they are poly-bagged and cardboard-backed to retain value. I'm amped about the Captain America film to such a degree that I almost don't want to see it lest I be disappointed in Marvel's star-spangled marvel.
You'd think that Comic-Con would be my Graceland, but alas I've never been. A handful of reasons include hating lines, cheapness and a mild shame at liking my stories full of lasers, muscles, spandex and swords (not necessarily in that order). But the reason many people go to Comic Con is, at its core, the main reason I do not: I am terrified of kinky group sex. The Joy Of (Group) Sex
Podcaster and Fuel TV personality Jordan Morris (follow him on Twitter) has a theory that people go to dress-em-up conventions primarly for the super secret f*ckfests and our good friends at Ranker.com have definitive proof.
The site famed for its top-ten lists has unearthed a friggin' Frodo-full of freaky frottage in the form of their best casual encounters of the 2011 Comic-Con. Here's a taste (Craigslist post in bold with Ranker's commentary in italics):
Costume Sex – M4W – 26 (San Diego)
Just got back home from a late night at Comic-Con after parties, and wanted to see if anyone was up who wanted to get together for some sex while I'm still in costume.
This one is wonderful in its simplicity.
"While I'm still in my costume...". How many women were there rushing to email this guy "No, please, don't take off your costume, just wait for meeee!"
Also astounding is the fact that this guy is only willing to get laid if she makes it to him before he gets comfy.
Actually, this guy's pretty awesome. He treats having sex like most people do Jehovah's witnesses. "Someone's at the door... eeehhhh, I already took my pants off. Whatever." Badass.
PLEASE do yourself a favor and check out the rest of the cosplay and regular relatively indecent proposals at Ranker.com. I wish they had a missed connections top 10 from the convention. Missed Connections Go Mainstream
It's a numbers game, true believers. Eventually some comely lady Stormtrooper will be powerless to stop your plans for something something lightsaber into her something something Wookie.
For me, I suppose I'll have to wait until I write the great American graphic novel and host a panel before I make a play for my very own Power Girl, Red Sonya or Twilek slave dancer.