Why Ridiculous Celebrity Baby Names Suck

By

victoria beckham
Why celebrities are doing their kids a disservice by giving them kooky names.

Perhaps famous parents like Natalie Portman are starting a newer naming trend. Aleph is the name given to her son with fiance Benjamin Millepied. Paying homage to her roots, the Hebrew word for the first letter of the alphabet is certainly original, but it's also far from ridiculous... a combination that a baby name nerd like myself can definitely appreciate. Who Is Benjamin Millepied, Natalie Portman's Fiancé?

Even though I'm not exactly a celeb, I was very excited to name my first kid. Off-the-wall names were never considered. I wanted my child to have a name that was familiar, easy to spell and to pronounce, not cutesy and not at all trendy. Which meant no top 50 names and preferably no top 100 names. A quick scan of the Social Security Popular Baby Name list immediately eliminates one hundred names and their alternatively spelled counterparts. Of course, I wasn't alone in my baby naming decision. My husband had an opinion... and I valued it.

I was quite surprised that we agreed on many girl names. We don't agree on many things, but we seem to share the same baby-naming style. Unlike most couples, we didn't spend nine months vetoing each other's favorite names. Fortunately, he didn't have any Fifi-style names in mind. As far as boys names, we immediately nixed the idea of continuing a family tradition. My husband has a third generation name that he did not wish to pass onto our son. I tend to think that growing up as a James/Jimmy/Jim influenced his preference towards more unique names for a boy.

While we we eventually settled on a name for our possible son, halfway through my pregnancy we learned we were having a girl. So while we had the name picked out for months, once we found out we were on team Pink, it was officially decided: our daughter would be named Elena. The name fits all of my criteria. Madam President Elena Sacco, I can see it now. Chances are, she won't be running against Fifi Trixibelle... and not just because she's British. We Can't Agree on a Baby Name

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