Sammi Giancola needs a little help with her love life.
As Season 4 is set to premiere, I hear that Jersey Shore 5 has a green light and MTV is ready to replace the popular improvisational actors. One of the primary plots of this show involves a tumultuous on and off relationship between the seemingly pristine Sammi Giancola and the rugged Ronnie Magro-Ortiz. With a few of the show’s parallel plot lines (like Nicole and Vinny’s FWB, and Jenni and Roger’s cute domesticating love) coming to a close, I bet that most fans are completely okay with the cast’s departure. Rumor has it that in Italy while shooting season four there was more dramatic antics involved around Sammi and Ronnie that resulted in a fight where Ron hit Mike. Mr. Magro-Ortiz may be a lover and a fighter, but it can be okay, Ms. Giancola here’s what you do:
The cheesy calls to sit on his lap and chin up kisses are all too familiar to me, the kind of PDA that makes people at weddings smile, but makes his siblings want to hurl. Unfortunately, so is the locked jaw look I get when I act indignant with my “What? Are you mad ‘cause I’m standing up to you? Are you double mad ‘cause I’m a girrrl? Are you triple mad ‘cause I got what you want?” attitude. So when I say that I’ve been there, I’ve been there.
If you take any European surname that ends in an A, E, I, O or Z and pull it from a hat, you might not be able to pull out a name that doesn’t have a history passionate men. Whether his name is Lombardi, Lasorda or Torre, there’s nothing like a great managing man.
I’ve observed that a woman can handle a proud masculine man, but it takes being in the know. Strong willed men do cooperate with women, but only when it’s handled with care. You might not be able to change them, but you can find a way to put his machismo to work in your advantage.
If you happen to find yourself in a struggle with how to handle a guy who you love to hate, take notes here. I don’t claim to have all of the answers, but I do have some first-hand experience.
Let’s examine how to handle a guy that you think is attractive, but who is also forward and culturally egotistical. Assuming that we’re talking about guys with relatively safe levels of mental health, a strong personality doesn’t mean that there is no way to live around one. In my book, there are three basic skills that you need to acquire in order to gain some sufficiency in handling a tough guy. Since I’ve put in some of the hard work myself, I’d like to share what a woman can do to improve her life with around these men. I’m not suggesting that any of these ideas will get you married or solve even half of life’s problems in dealing with strong willed people, but these might help:
Keep yourself five steps ahead of the game
Just like it wouldn’t be too wise to play a competitive sport like football of soccer without a playbook, it serves that, when you need to accomplish something, you should have a plan. Discussing an event or project ahead of time allows you to point out obstacles and probability of contradictions before they actually happen. One of the biggest ways to start a fight seems to come from a misunderstanding of the roles involved when trying to get a task done. If you both come together and purposely decide what each person will be doing, your day can run on little higher note. Team mates get together and make it happen.
Hone your etiquette
If every girl reserves the right to be a sweet b*tch, the rule of thumb might go, “Try to be sweet a majority of the time and a b*tch a minority of the time.” It’s okay to have confidence and recognize that there is such a thing as enabling inexcusable things (so don’t enable), but if you find yourself complaining way too much, notice that for what it is. Whatever you do, don’t go quoting that blurb on Facebook about women being angels and turning into witches when their wings are broken. Being assertive takes a combination of temperament that isn’t learned overnight. The only advice I could give, is that it takes time to mold it into shape. Some people call it being “firm but fair.” Learning how to get your requests met without flipping out on people doesn’t have to be so wrenching.
Start by making sure that when you want something, you don’t demand or overlook what you want. This means explaining yourself without nagging and remembering that getting even isn’t always the best choice. On the contrary, being a push-over will make you utterly miserable (obviously). Don’t play the martyr by giving in and not asking for something in return. Requesting what you want with the insurance of a small trade-off could be a start. This is really the main example I noticed in more than one couple I happened to know when I was trying to figure this out for myself.
You can push his Ego around
Yes, I happen to be one of those lucky gals who are married to man that feeds the dog and washes the windows bright and early on a Saturday morning without being asked. He also, then, follows this charming action with a look in the window reflection, a pose while he straightens his shirt, and a quick hair primp. (Yeah, he’s trying to look good in the backyard sliding glass door. Does it get any worse?)
Do men like their Ego stroked?
Note: Pay close attention to the rhetorical question that was just asked.
So run it, girl.
If you are especially good at something, take ownership for your own projects. If you have things that you like to prepare. Prepare them and disguise it as an ode to the relationship. Let’s just say that, if you keep your talents true to life, you get to keep both your identity and his Ego up and running. (Maybe I should say, try to find something you like doing that he also likes done for him.) There will always be sacrifices, but having a few tasks that you actually enjoy, keeps things positive.
Granted that it is a lot of work, hard work pays off. All the ladies I know that are married to dominant men know how to ask for what they want. This is mainly done by support and giving them the ownership they crave. An example of this could be suggesting that he coach a team sport or being in support of new change in his life. In return, this gives you the time and freedom to take charge of what you want to do without him imposing his “managerial” skills on you. He stays busy pushing his weight around and you run your part of the castle. Now, I really wouldn’t call it reverse-psychology, but more like the law of attraction. Made simple, make him feel like a success and he will spread the wealth…it just happens.
Do you love or hate egotistical males? Do you really think that there will ever be a perfect way to handle them?