Do We Hold Men To Impossibly High Standards?


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Women today want a rich, handsome man who's a sex god and Mr. Mom. Do we expect too much?

I am guilty of keeping to my ideal. I've always just called it "high standards," but maybe it's more like "the standards that could likely sabotage your love life." Maybe I'm not giving guys enough of a chance. Maybe we're all not. Maybe we're just too hard on them. And maybe we need to stop making all these stupid lists.

If I sat down and tried to describe what The Perfect Guy looked like, I could never do it. But I could list the sorts qualities that man would have all day long, because I have created the standard of perfection in my head, with so many intricate quirks, since I've been little girl. You probably have, too. And as time goes on, we constantly add to the list based on our changing needs and wants. Athletic prowess may not be important, but a high-profile job might. Maybe you used to want a guy with tousled blond hair, but now you favor men with a darker look. And your best friend? She could want the exact opposite. How do guys keep up? That's right. They can't. Imperfection Does Not Equal Rejection


Single women, I think we need to throw the lists out. For the sake of these impossible male ideals, and for the sake of our own love lives. (Married women, you probably ditched the lists a while ago. And when you did, when you realized your "perfect" wasn't attainable, you found your match. Props.)

A friend once told me that she was always afraid to make it official with a guy. There was always something in the back of her mind that kept her from total happiness. And it all had to do with the list. Why wouldn't she commit to a guy—even if she really felt the spark?

"Because what if there's someone better out there?" she said. Translated: What if there's a man who fits my Perfect Guy description better? Nonsense. Don't we all know love doesn't work that way by now? Even me. I should know better, but I always seem to forget.

Another reason to toss the list? Because you're making it a lot harder for yourself to meet The Perfect Guy. And what else? When you do meet him, the list isn't going to matter anymore. So, why live by it now?

Be honest: Do you hold men to impossibly high standards?

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