Every woman, whether she wants to admit it or not, has envisioned The Perfect Guy in her head. I have. I still do.
So, when I read this part of Greta Christina's article, "Wealthy, Handsome, Strong, Packing Endless Hard-Ons: The Impossible Ideals Men Are Expected to Meet," I laughed. Because it sounds completely ridiculous when you put it in writing.
So, behold. This is the male ideal:
We have ideas "in American culture about what a 'real man' is and does. You know: strong, competitive, dominant, wealthy, good at fixing machinery, lots of sexual partners, enjoys sports... Guys? Listen up. The world is telling you to turn yourself into a unicorn and start shitting diamonds... You will never, ever be man enough. So stop giving a damn." How to Get Your Ideal Partner
Humorous? Yes. A bit. But only if it's hyperbole. If not, it totally sucks.
Are we really holding men to a standard of complete impossibility? When we're out there in the dating scene looking for a potential match, are we searching for someone who doesn't exist; a figment of our warped imaginations?
Christina's article touches on the pressure society puts on men to be contradicting forms of everything. Guys better make a CEO paycheck, but work with their hands because that's the sexy job. (How many mechanics do you know who make six figures?) Men better be strong in the right situations, but be sensitive the rest of the time (and it's up them to figure out which situations require which trait, and then continuously walk that fine line). Christina argues that men can't live up to that.
For the most part, I agree. But I don't necessarily think it's society who puts this pressure on men. I think it's women.
It resonated with me when Streeter Seidell wrote that pretty much every single thing a guy does is fueled by one goal: to impress women. Our world runs on sexual tension, romantic entanglements and a never-ending search to find The One. Men dress up, work out, make money and become the "ideal" because they think we might like them a little more. And sadly, we allow that. But what guys don't know? Every single woman has a different ideal, and she probably won't readily admit to what that ideal is. Because it's absurd. 7 Common Things Women Do To Impress A Man
Until we meet Mr. Right, our ideals all read like this: Perfect. Whatever "perfect" means to us individually.
That's the hitch. Guys don't know what "perfect" means to each and every woman. So, men start to get the idea that they have to be absolutely everything—just to cover all the bases—and that can't be done. "Almost Perfect" Husband and Wife