Oh, Ashley, what have you gotten yourself into? In the first 30 seconds of last night's The Bachelorette, we see Ashley possibly getting married to one guy in Vegas while seeing another guy admit he has zero interest in his Bachelorette—other than in her tight butt.
I missed last week's episode, so it was nice to see a mansion swarming with reasonably attractive guys. Most are hot, one is weird. The weird one, mind you, is intentionally being a douche by wearing an Eyes Wide Shut mask to cover his mug so Ashley can get to know the real him before she sees what he looks like. If he really wanted her to get to know the real him, he should be wearing an "I’m With Stupid" T-shirt.
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The first-date card goes to William, a cutie from Ohio. Ashley plans a trip (on a private plane, naturally) to Vegas, where for some reason she takes him to a wedding cake shop, then a ring shop, then a chapel—where they almost get married! William actually says I DO, but Ashley is all, “Um, slow down. I have like, 17 more dudes to date before I commit.”
Post (almost) wedding, Ashley wines and dines William at a table for two in the middle of the Bellagio fountains. They have a heart-to-heart and, of course, she gives him the rose.
Meanwhile, the next date card arrives and 11 guys get chosen for a group date to Sin City. As the guys pile out of the limo, Ashley is standing there looking like a farmer's daughter in a Pink checkered shirt. Hot? The guys think so. She takes them to a theater where she informs them they will be competing against each other for a spot to continue on the date (and perform in front of a live audience later that night). None of the guys are excited about this. There are few things less sexy than watching a bunch of bros sporting jazz hands.
The first team, The Best Men, do a little ditty similar to the JK Wedding Entrance Dance viral video. Only it was awful. Then No Rhythm Nation performed. They were also terrible, but they won. Then half the guys got sent home and half of them spent the rest of the evening training for a live Vegas show.
Side Note: If I paid top dollar for a Vegas show, I'd be mad as hell if the Bachelorette and her dude crew took the stage in lieu of actual performers. Where do I get my money back? 6 Ways To Beat Post-Vacation Blues
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Post-show, Ashley and the boys hit a roof deck for some flirtin' and drinkin'. We learn about the guys a bit more and learn about their particular brand of heartache. Nothing tops the emotional roller coaster of Emily's heartbreaking story last season, but the producers did manage to find a guy whose wife died young, too. I bet they were thrilled.
Then there's Bentley. You might as well call him Wes, 'cause this dude is not there for the right reasons. But unlike Wes, he fully admits it. He tells the camera that the only thing he likes about Ashley is her butt… and the competition. And, as if the world needed more confirmation that Ashley is an idiot, she gives Bentley a rose. Wedding Survival Guide: Dos And Don'ts Of The Big Day