Pinkee here~ For those of you out there who are single, or who may be in relationship, today I am going to address the issue of loving yourself. As we have said many times on the show, it is a prerequisite for co-creating a loving relationship. In particular, I want to talk about how you can love your physical body.
In our culture, we are taught to critique our bodies- too fat, too thin, too flabby, breasts too small, butt too big, you know the drill. So we are dishonoring what we have co-created with our Creator in doing this. And then we feel bad about ourselves. And then we expect to get in a relationship with someone who is going to love us even though we don’t love ourselves. And then, even though all of this is true, we expect to have good sex with that person. Do you see the irony in all this? If you’ve been having trouble making this “perfect formula” work, perhaps this is one of the reasons.
You know how they say if you want change in the world, start with yourself? Well, if you want change in your loving relationships, start with yourself. When you fully appreciate your body and love yourself you can share that abundance of love with another person. Here are some simple ways you can begin to do that.
1. Spend time naked. No, I don’t mean walk out your front door naked and get arrested, or walk around naked in front of your kids’ friends. When you are at home alone, or only your partner is around, get used to walking around naked. Get comfortable with your own body.
2. Look at your naked body in the mirror and admire it. Look for the beauty, not the flaws. Marvel at how everything works together to function so beautifully. Appreciate your uniqueness.
3. Begin to touch yourself more. Touch is another thing that has been forbidden in our society. Have you noticed that is has gotten less and less socially acceptable to touch? I mean non-sexual touch right now. Lie on your couch or bed. Touch your head, your shoulders, your arms, your abdomen, etc. Allow yourself to enjoy the sensations of physical touch. Love yourself through your touch. How can you be comfortable touching and being touched by another if you don’t even touch yourself?
4. And yes, self-gratification. Masturbation is okay. It’s not bad or evil or shameful. Even if you know hair won’t grow on your palms, you may still be harboring shame from parental and societal messages you got growing up. If you don’t have a partner or even if you do have a partner, it can also be a way of loving yourself and connecting with Divine Love. As I’ve said before, when you reach that point of orgasm, it feels so good because you are “coming home” to God/Goddess/All That Is. And again, how can you know how you want your partner to touch you erotically if you don’t even touch yourself?