“HELP!! MY LIFE WAS DESIGNED BY A 25 YEAR OLD & DOESN’T FIT!

Does that feel familiar? When did it happen that everything you thought you wanted when you were in your blooming 20s has either come to pass – and passed on by - or has lost it’s allure, or you’ve outgrown it?

It happens to all of us at some level. Some are more conscious of the discomfort than others and are willing to look at it squarely and address it. Others go on trying to recapture the lost glitter forever (yikes! Grandmas in hotpants, etc.) And some just give in and become depressed, settling for what is left of the lives they planned and outgrew or that somehow just got forgotten in all the busyness of daily life year after year.

We spend our youth dreaming of what our lives will be like. Young adult years are full of attempts to capture the man, the money the status that will get us there. Then the family years of raising children, building a family and home life, creating careers around the family situations as best we can.

And then … the change happens. Yes … the “change of life” as it is called begins to take hold on us women. It isn’t just a hormone adjustment though, a cessation of monthly periods or of crows feet making a mark on our faces. It is also a change in us in this middle stage of life just as the nest begins to empty, the career or job seems to go sour or wear thin and the future starts looming in front of us with an uncertainty that is disarming, to say the least. We don’t even really know ourselves anymore. Our passion is gone and our purpose is waning. We don’t seem to be as easily impressed or excited as we used to be. We aren’t as interested in the usual activities of habit. We see ourselves differently and aren’t sure we like it, but are sure we want a change, preferably that we can control, doesn’t make us old, and doesn’t make us ridiculous. We are changing.

These are the years of maturity, grace, beauty and fulfillment. Then why doesn’t it feel like it? Why does it feel more like we’re losing something? Well, the thing we seem to have forgotten when we were planning our lives as youngsters is, that we wouldn’t stay the same. It’s interesting that we can see people and family members all around us as we grow up, changing and still not imagine that we will too. Everything changes from the way we look to the way we feel inside and what we want out of life. We didn’t expect that. It does make sense though when you remember that every cell in our bodies is replaced every 7 years. That means our personality, our hair, our sense of taste and most importantly, our body of knowledge. We’ve learned a few things and developed some wisdom and savvy.