#2: Learn how to really listen to your partner.
Quite often, relationships get into trouble when one or both people feel like they aren't getting their needs met. There may be a belief that the other person is either unwilling or unable to give what is desired.
The sad thing about this dynamic is that it's usually not a case of one person being unwilling or unable to meet a need, it's that that need itself is either unknown or misunderstood.
Dull and lifeless relationships are frequently caused by poor communication habits.
Pay closer attention to how you and your partner talk to one another. Are you both usually multi-tasking, distracted or overwhelmed? Do either or both of you have a habit of interrupting or assuming that you already know what the other person wants and needs?
Without blame or criticism, notice how you two communicate and be sure to notice it when you don't seem to be hearing each other.
If, like many couples, you realize that your communication habits could use some improvement, start with your own tendencies. Make sure you are literally listening to what your partner has to say. Even if it seems mundane and unimportant, listen closely. If you are busy, ask your partner to give you a few minutes to reach a stopping or pausing point after which you will listen in a more engaged way.
The magic of really listening to your partner is that you can better know what it is he or she enjoys or would like right now and, as a result, you two can move closer together. Moments of connection can more easily occur-- this includes passionate connection too.
#3: Follow through in expected and unexpected ways.
There are no bigger passion-killers in a relationship than broken promises, mistrust and unreliability. As boring as following through might seem to be, it's an essential ingredient to relationship spark.
When you and your partner make an agreement, be sure that it is clearly understood by both of you and that you both have fully and honestly said “Yes.” We've all probably been in situations when we agreed to someone else's request just to get him or her off our back or to prevent an argument.
Be sure to follow through on all of the agreements you make with your partner. Let him or her know you can be counted on. You can actually make this a passion-supporting practice when you do what's expected and then go beyond that.
For example, if you've agreed to take out the trash. Do it and then tackle the mess in the garage as well. Going above and beyond your agreements in positive ways can set the stage for more appreciation and more excitement too.
#4: Keep growing as a couple.
Don't assume that just because your partner used to be a certain way or used to like a particular way of living, this is the way it still is and always will be. The fact of the matter is that all of us are always changing and growing.
When you embrace this fact and make it your intention to grow as a couple, a phenomenal relationship can emerge.