The Art and Science of Cheating


The Art and Science of Cheating
Examines some of the common reasons why individuals in relationships decide to cheat

These songs, among many others, did and continue to do a very good job at romanticizing infidelity. Their underlying suggestion is that the love or passion being shared is so special, that the individuals would do anything to keep this special something “going on”. I believe that the individual who cheats either has a particular relationship philosophy or is seduced into seeing relationships in a particular light. I do agree that there is diversity among cheaters. People do not cheat for the same reasons but all who cheat do begin from a point of similarity. Basically, they lack relationship integrity. It is nonetheless interesting to perhaps examine some of the thinking behind this behaviour called cheating.

These cheat because they have been cheated on. (I guess this is where the laws of science come in, something like A+B=C?) They have been hard done by and they intend to go for the jugular. It is likely that such an individual has been hurt so much that they have not even processed their pain. All they know is that they want revenge and perhaps want to enjoy it too. The down side of playing tit for tat, is that the underlying issues are never dealt with. The brief satisfaction felt in having that “eye for an eye” is ultimately lost when it is realised that returning hurt for hurt does not eradicate pain.


Grass Grazers
There are those who just believe that the grass on the other side is greener, healthier, free from chemicals and organic to the bone, I mean blade. They just are into taste-testing and make no apologies for it. At the heart of this Columbus syndrome is not only a deep dissatisfaction with the spouse or partner but a deeper dissatisfaction with the self. A man doesn’t just pursue another skirt because he wants to test a new vagina. He wants to test himself in a new scenario. He wants to prove that he can chase, woo and conquer (just in case he forgot). He wants to know that he hasn’t lost his skill; especially if his wife treats their sex-life like the last thing on earth that she’d want to participate in. (And I’m not giving the guy an excuse to cheat lest I be misread). Women too can be motivated by a need to re-prove their sexiness and failure to pay attention to the old car in the garage just makes the new car in the show-window seem even more attractive than it actually might be.The affair becomes then an easy cop-out in a relationship where the garden has not been carefully tended.

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