How To Have The "I'm No Longer Attracted To You" Conversation


Discussing attraction in a relationship is difficult, but experts say there is a right way to do it.

Interestingly enough, Banks said that in her experience, women are better able to handle the blow. Perhaps it's because women are exposed to more scrutiny of their appearance in everyday life. "Women are better able to justify what their partner says. They invest more time thinking about how they look, and they also know they can do something about it."

5. Hear your partner out.


What if you're on the receiving end of the "I'm no longer attracted to you" conversation?

Ideally, your partner will approach the issue constructively. That way, it's easier to stay calm and open to what he or she is saying. It's OK to show that you're hurt in a nondefensive way. "You can say, 'This is hard to hear, and I think I need time to think about it,'" said Fitzpatrick. "It's better than being defensive."

If the conversation turns into a blame game, shut it down. "If you feel attacked, mention that relationship issues have to be addressed as a team," Fitzpatrick said. "You can say that you need time to think, or ask to discuss the issue later."

Women on the receiving end of "the talk" are more likely to share details with friends. "I'd be careful about that," Banks warned. "If a woman gets friends to side with her, she may not even consider whether the criticism is valid." Dismissing your partner's feelings when you're on the receiving end, especially when he or she is trying to be constructive, can be just as damaging as being inconsiderate when initiating the conversation.

If your partner goes through great pains to address a relationship issue with sensitivity, do your best to listen and respond.

Have you ever had the "I'm no longer attracted to you" conversation? How did it go?

Power of Attraction content is sponsored by Zestra, a safe, natural, easy-to-apply blend of botanical oils that enhances female sexual pleasure, sensation, sensitivity and satisfaction.

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