Are you having trouble getting on with your in-laws? You are not alone! The trials and tribulations of trying to live in any kind of peace with your partner's family has been a source of woe for hundreds of years. But knowing that loads of other people have trouble with their in-laws is not much help to you in dealing with your in-laws.
If your in-laws were the understanding, considerate sort, you wouldn't be reading this. So they probably fall into another category - manipulative, interfering, critical, demanding. And they 'get to you’. All you want is a peaceful life with your partner, on your own terms!
More from YourTango: 6 Myths About Dating A Career-Focused Guy
We all understand that family loyalties are bound to clash when two families come together through the union of two individuals. But none of us can possibly imagine the impact that in-laws will have.
You may put a lot of effort in to make things go well - perhaps you agree to things you weren't that keen on, or maybe you don't stand up for yourself when criticized - and now you are finding that things are getting worse rather than better.
You are probably asking: 'Is there no way out?' Well the answer is Yes there is!
It is entirely possible for you to have much more comfortable relations with your in-laws, but there isn't a perfect answer.
You can't like everybody, and you can't be liked by everybody. The love you feel for your partner doesn't automatically extend to their mother, their father, their siblings or extended family.
It is possible for you to shape the relationship so that you feel comfortable dealing with your in-laws and by doing this the stress about your relationship with the in-laws will no longer wreck your life.
To shape your relationship with your in-laws be yourself. If your in-laws don’t like it that then becomes their problem and not yours. Your partner loves you just the way you are and not the way their in-laws would like you to be.
You have assertive rights so initiate them right way - You have the right to:
Be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them.
To say ‘I don’t care’
To say ‘no’.
To offer no reasons or excuses to justify your behaviour.
More from YourTango: Weird News: Japanese Photog Invents The Awesomest Girlfriend
Start today, refuse to accept their problem as yours, don't be afraid to say no. By changing your attitude to them, their attitude towards you will change. It will take a little time but your life will improve.
No more tearing your hair out.