In his memoir The Physiology of Taste, the 18th century French epicure Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin writes, “Un dessert sans fromage est une belle à qui il manque un oeil” — a meal without cheese is a one-eyed beauty. This was 1825, but the aphorism still rings true today.*
I’m a few days away from turning 31, an age that has no milestone significance at all with the exception of triggering a post apocalyptic ex files reunion. Milestones have a way of doing that to people I suppose. They are the reminders of what is and perhaps, what could have been. With another year as a fiercely independent single approaching, I reluctantly began to entertain the idea of saying yes. Or at least what ”yes” might look like and more importantly with whom. And so it begins …
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I’ve briefly touched on it a few times, but to date haven’t addressed why I’m a nonbeliever in the notion of the soul mate premise. If in fact, there is such a premise — I don’t believe in it. The most notable reason being that the term itself is grossly mis AND over used. There’s a false sense of security that’s perpetuated to the masses via While You Were Sleeping romantic comedies and Corrine Bailey Ray love songs. Love, true love, conquers all and is easily attainable in 90 short minutes over Reese’s Cups and the will to succeed.
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Not to mention shows like “The Bachelor” that line up a gaggle of community college’s finest former cheerleaders for an equally disappointing and overly man-scaped Trustafarian (Andrew Firestone, I’m talking about you) in hopes of tying the knot during May Sweeps. Round of applause for showmance — Why doesn’t it work out again? Oh let’s see … Because it’s a friggin joke love blasphemy and a perversion of real life.
While the idea of a soul mate is plausible to some, my mother being one such person — even though she’s met and married her soul mate(s) twice now with a third approaching in the near future — no doubt. I know a couple, Let’s call them Mr. & Mrs. Soulmate that met and married within two weeks of knowing one another in 1979. They have four children and they’re still together today. By show of hands who’s not blown away by this. Oh wait, what’s that Pretty Girl in the back of the room?? You know seven other couples that dated for varying amounts of time and within 1 year of marriage, they all ended in divorce. All of them. That’s ca-raaaazy! Or is it a simple case for Count von Count –The 1979 couple in is hence the exception and not the rule. So let’s see if I can’t circle back around to the conversation at hand, as I’ve been indulging in a bottle glass of Shiraz.