One Mother's Response To Georgia's Proposed Miscarriage Bill

One Mother's Response To Georgia's Proposed Miscarriage Bill

One Mother's Response To Georgia's Proposed Miscarriage Bill

woman rocking baby doll
Something as natural as having a baby should be a cinch, right?

Getting pregnant—and having that pregnancy end with a healthy infant—is one of those facts of life you take for granted. After all, this is the age of high-speed internet and brain surgery. Something as natural as having a baby should, scientifically, be a cinch, right? You think: Women have been doing it for years, and I have the power to prevent it until I'm ready, at which point it will happen smoothly.

Until it happens, and it doesn't go smoothly.

When I lost my second child in a second trimester miscarriage, Angelina Jolie was also pregnant, and was quoted as saying something along the lines of loving how much she felt like a woman, like her body was functioning exactly as it was designed to function.

That quote left me a sobbing mess—although, to be fair, a sobbing mess pretty much describes me in the months following the miscarriage. What was wrong with my body? Why hadn't it functioned as it was supposed to? I already had one beautiful and healthy child. What had I done wrong the second time around?

I wracked my brain constantly, and nothing the doctors or my loving husband said could reassure me that the miscarriage wasn't my fault. I'd continued exercising. Had I overextended myself? I couldn't give up my morning coffee. Had that affected the developing fetus? I drank a fair amount of wine before learning I was carrying. Had I poisoned the baby? I felt like a failure. More than a failure, I felt as though I'd accidentally murdered the child I so desperately wanted.

In the midst of my mourning, we conceived again, and I now have a healthy and beautiful son whose existence wouldn't have been possible had I carried the other child to term. I'm now at peace with what happened to me, and although at the time I thought I'd never recover from the pain of it, now I rarely think about what happened. How Do You Know Your Family Is Complete?

Until I hear someone else's story, and can't help but share in their pain, or until I hear about something like the recently proposed bill in Georgia, which could make a miscarriage a criminal offense punishable by death.

Join the Conversation