Hey Facebook: I'm Married AND It's Complicated

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couple at computer
Does a Married relationship status give the entire picture?

I read these posts with a mixture of skepticism and envy. Surely, if these women are living in anything approximating a normal marriage in the U.S. in 2011, they are either lying, or simply cannot imagine, having checked off Married on that blue-and-white left-hand column, ever posting anything that indicates It's Complicated. My Facebook Breakup Was Humiliating—and Helpful

But it is.

Maybe it's naïve of me to expect other sane women—those who, unlike me, don't make a good chunk of their income writing about their personal lives—to clue in hundreds of others about what makes their married lives, at times, pretty complicated.  Or maybe it's as simple as having husbands who are also on Facebook.

My husband, for one, would rather I go with the easy, simple, uncomplicated Married / All Good stance, at least in what I write in spaces like this. As for Facebook, he has no clue, since he's uninterested in social networks. Actually, he's not much interested in social life either, which reminds me of yet another complicated part of our relationship… yikes, better stop now.

One in-real-life friend thinks my inability to post lots of he's-terrific-and-marriage-is-dandy Facebook updates means there's more going on for me than a mere chagrined observation of the quirks of online revelations. In other words, she thinks I have marriage relationships issues. (Did I mention she's a couples therapist?)

She's right, of course. It's complicated. I suppose, like the rest of the Married people, I try (mostly) not to tell this to the world. Unlike them, I fail. I do. I do. I do. 

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