The Bachelor Episode 9: Lions And Tigers And Bachelors, Oh My!

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bachelor episode 9 chantal and emily
Brad and his remaining three ladies bond in South Africa.

As part of ABC's continuing quest to circle the globe this season, Brad and his remaining three ladies flew to South Africa for their overnight dates on this week's episode of The Bachelor

After landing in South Africa, Brad hops into an open-top jeep and heads through the jungle to his hotel—conveniently located inside an African safari. He wastes no time getting to his first gal. Wearing short-shorts and a safari-themed top, Chantal pounces on him like a lion with her prey. They go on a safari tour together, ogling the wildlife before finally cuddling up in a tree house for their overnight date.

What's funny about this is that Chantal and Brad have the strongest sexual connection, and Chantal obviously can't wait to get some alone time with Brad behind four solid, non-video-camera'd walls. Unfortunately, their love nest for the night is literally a bed in a tree. No walls. Funny.

It doesn't stop them, though. Methinks they had a wild night in the jungle together. Is Lust More Important Than Emotional Stability?

The next day, Brad spends time with Emily, who is also wearing super-short-shorts. The two of them hop on an elephant for a ride through the jungle. Emily looks gorgeous, and Brad is tongue-tied, as per usual. Emily is obviously used to this behavior from men, so she is cautious when it comes to telling Brad that she is falling in love with him. She keeps looking for the perfect time to tell him, so that he won't be so nervous.

After dinner, she still hasn't said a thing, so when Brad hands her the overnight date card, Emily hesitates. She explains that she is a mom and that, if she joins him, she will not be engaging in any hanky-panky. He replies with a "yes ma'am," and they adjourn to the fantasy suite for what I presume was a night of scrapbooking.

Finally it's Ashley's turn. Compared to the other ladies, Ashley doesn't stand a chance (despite the fact that, per the status quo, she is also wearing short-shorts). The date starts off awkward. Brad surprises her with a helicopter ride, and she freaks out. When she finally agrees to board, they have a very weird date in what is probably the most beautiful place on earth.

Ashley can barely form words when trying to explain her goals and ambitions about her future. It's as if she's making it up on the spot. And Brad feels hurt when Ashley says she'd "maybe think about moving somewhere warm someday," but fails to mention Austin (Brad's hometown) as a possibility. Basically, she digs her own grave. She looks unhappy, and Brad is clearly pulling away from her. 4 Tricks To Instantly Connect With Anyone

The next night, at the rose ceremony, Brad takes Ashley off the chopping block for a one-on-one, where he tries to get to the bottom of what happened the night before. Ashley doesn't really give him anything to work with, so he sends her packing. She's upset but, frankly, it's for the best.

After leaving the remaining ladies standing there for what seems like hours, Brad returns sans Ashley and hands out the final two roses. He tells them that they are all heading to Cape Town to meet his family, and perhaps play some soccer.

Next week is the "women tell all" episode, and then we come back for the finale. Who do you think will walk away with a ring?

I'm calling Chantal. And Emily is going to be a perfect Bachelorette.

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