My rule of thumb is that the only advice I want is the advice I receive after I ask for it. When my son began to refuse bedtime (after a routine had been set for months), I asked some of my fellow female co-workers how they enforced their bedtime routines.
When a relative admonished me for letting my son into our bed after a string of nights struggling to get him to sleep, I told her, "If the worst thing that happens to him at 15 months is that he spends a few nights sleeping with mom and dad, I'm sure he'll be fine." And then I abruptly changed the topic and asked her about work.
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If you want advice, ask people you trust. If you get unwelcome guidance, do your best to walk away. But if someone crosses the line, let them know what they did. Standing up for yourself will only help make you more of the mom you want to be.