11 Steps To Mr. Right: A New Dating Strategy

Single women often ask us how to meet men, so when we started a partnership with YourTango Expert Rori Raye, author of the blog and newsletter Have The Relationship You Want, we figured that asking how to meet men was a good place to start. Rori had some great ideas, but she also thought that was the wrong question. "It's not about where you go, it's about your mindset when you're there," she said. Rori recommends practicing "Circular Dating." Circular Dating takes the focus off the man and turns it back on yourself, which builds your self-esteem and in the end, leads to meeting men. Here are eleven things we learned from Rori.

1. Don't try to meet men. Yes, that's right—don't try to meet men. Finding the relationship you want isn't about looking for Mr. Right or even about dating—it's about embracing and loving yourself. When you do that successfully men will find you.

2. View conversations with men as therapy. Rori recommends that you look at men as a therapeutic tool that can help you build self-confidence. Next time you're at a party, instead of scanning the crowd thinking, "I'm here to meet someone," look at the situation as an opportunity to observe and practice interacting with men. This mindset will leave you more relaxed—and more likely to meet someone.

3. Always be open to new connections. You can meet men anywhere—in happy hour at a bar, in line at Whole Foods, at the gas station when you're filling up your car. But if you're too involved in your thoughts you won't notice all the eligible men that surround you—and moreover, men won't approach you. Instead, look around. Smile at people. And relax.