I AM IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING OUT OF A REALLY UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WHERE I PRACTICALLY WORSHIPPED THE MAN AND WAS BASICALLY AT HIS BECK AND CALL. HE WALKED AWAY FROM HIS 2ND WIFE AND 3 CHILDREN AND HE IS REFUSING TO MOVE ON AND WANTS ME TO WAIT UNTIL HE CAN OVERCOME HIS GRIEF ABOUT THIS. AND, HONESTLY I DON'T THINK HE IS EVER GOING TO MOVE ON AND I AM WASTING MY TIME BY WAITING FOR HIM. HE SAYS THAT HE LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY BUT HOW CAN HE WHEN POINT BLANK...HE IS ALL SCREWED IN HIS HEAD. AND, I THINK HE IS REALLY MY FIRST LOVE BUT I CANNOT SAVE HIM AND I WOULD BE TOTALLY STUPID TO WAIT AROUND FOR HIM. NO MATTER WHAT HE IS GOING TO CAUSE HIS OWN MISERY AND I KNOW THIS. IN THE BEGINNING I THOUGHT THERE WAS HOPE FOR HIM BUT NOW I REALIZE THAT HE HAD JUST BEEN USING ME AND I DESERVE MUCH BETTER. I HAVE MUCH TO OFFER ALONG WITH A HEART OF GOLD AND NOW IT IS TIME FOR ME TO PUT MYSELF FIRST. THE THING IS THAT I HAVE MET SOME ONE ELSE. WE HAVEN'T HAD OUR FIRST DATE YET BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS MAN AND I COULD REALLY CLICK AND I AM SCARED TO DEATH TO DO ANYTHING TO SCREW IT UP. I WOULD LIKE TO BE CHRISTIAN CARTER'S PERFECT STUDENT AND KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO HANDLE EVERYTHING. I JUST WENT THROUGH SO MUCH CRAP WITH MY FIRST LOVE THAT I AM ACTUALLY SCARED THAT I AM UNLOVABLE AND THIS NEW MAN WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE ALL THE GOOD IN ME. I DON'T WANT TO RUSH THINGS, I DON'T WANT TO SAY THE WRONG THING. I JUST WANT TO LET GO AND RELAX. IT'S INTERESTING BECAUSE MY FIRST LOVE HAS NO IDEA THAT I AM MOVING ON AND I KNOW THAT HE WILL BE SURPRISED WHEN I TELL HIM. THE FACT IS THAT I NEED A MAN TO LOVE ME-THE GOOD , THE BAD, AND THE UGLY. I DESERVE TO HAVE ALL OF A MAN-NOT JUST THE BITS AND PIECES!!!
You don't need someone else to feel complete, because you are the only person that can truly make yourself feel whole. While cheesy, it's the most important love lesson Cheryl Strayed teaches.