Super Bowl XLV (Green Bay Packers favored by 2.5 points over the Pittsburgh Steelers in Dallas, TX Sunday, February 6, 2011 6:30 Eastern) is a few days away, and I'm a little confused. While it should be a great game this year (check out our need-to-know for all you need to know about this Super Bowl: A Casual Fan's Guide To Super Bowl XLV), are we really sending mixed messages with this most super of football games?
At some point in the late 19th century, we invented football because—following the war between the states—we realized that battle was just too dangerous to engage in for general entertainment. Because of the weird, primal sex-violence in the male mind, many men became confused by the fact that they were suddenly very horny during games, so we had to begin including cheerleaders. Since then, as football has gotten more vicious, we've off-set it with even more more sexiness (and booze) to keep everyone from getting off track.
Since JT and Janet Jackson's "outfit dysfunction," the halftime sexy has come from a little thing called the Lingerie Bowl. I have no idea if it's still around, or why even the most craven amongst us would want to watch women in shoulder pads and garters toss the pigskin around, but I know it is (or was!) a thing. This year, they got the Black Eyed Peas, so most of us won't know if it's supposed to be sexy or not.
Anyway. The Dallas Morning News had news that the cities of Dallas and Fort Worth were short on women who would dance naked for money. A local club owner declared that the DMA was 10,000 strippers short of what would be required for the week. A clarion call like that should have exotic dancers crawling out of the woodwork like ninjas in a Shaw Bros film. 10 Football-Free Activities For Super Bowl Sunday