5. To lay the groundwork for, at some point in the future, (maybe) becoming friends.
It's tempting to want to "just be friends," but doing so right away will keep you attached to your ex and will make it harder to heal. "I always recommend having some time immediately after a break-up with no communication at all," says YourTango Expert and psychologist Dr. Amy Johnson. "You can always establish a friendship later if that's something you both want."
It is possible to be friends with an ex—after all, you might still like them as a person, just not as a romantic partner—but you shouldn't try our friendship when you're still mourning the end of your romance. "Many people think that you have to be a super hero and let everything go—including the person," says Tardy. "That is simply not true. You are letting go of the situation—you and him together." Later (much later on), you can reconnect.
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Cutting off ties isn't so easy if you have kids, work in the same company or share a group of friends. If you must see your ex, minimize contact as much as possible, and only resume normal interaction once the pain has lost its immediacy.
6. To replace self-doubt and negativity with better self-esteem and a positive outlook.
"Most of the time when a relationship ends it means it was broken," says Rapini. "Settling for the brokenness will deteriorate your self-esteem and any respect you have for yourself."
If you make every effort to stop including your ex in your daily life, "All of the negativity and complaints about your ex will not be a part of your daily vocabulary," Spira says. "Letting go of a bad relationship means you can start to think more positively about yourself and your self esteem."
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7. To find a new relationship—one that's right for you.
Even though your ex might seem like the love of your life, the fact remains that your relationship didn't work out for a reason. If you find yourself getting caught up in "he's the One" syndrome, keep in mind that "the One" would not break your heart so badly that it would ruin the relationship.