What I Learned About My First Love From Facebook


Shocked woman looking at a laptop
Surprise! He grew up to be a right-wing conservative and a Tea Party supporter.

Facebook is really great for reconnecting with old friends and finding out what your buddies are up to. What it is also great for: shattering every illusion you ever had about your first love—just like it did for me this weekend. The Frisky: More Realistic Facebook Relationship Status Options

I first spotted Jeremy when I was a sixth grade student at a public magnet school in Fort Worth, Texas. He looked exactly like Jay Underwood, the guy who played Tia's loser boyfriend Bug in Uncle Buck, which is to say that he was incredibly hot. I never spoke to him—NEVER—but I rode the hour each way to school with him every day. And, it turned out, his mom was my English teacher. She was firm, but friendly—and she was my only link to the strange but beautiful creature that was her son. Sometimes I would stick around after class to see if he would stop by.


I never spoke to Jeremy, until the very last day I lived in Texas. My dad is a nuclear engineer, and growing up we moved a round a lot—from nuclear power plant to nuclear power plant. I used to joke that we were the modern-day Joads (a joke that only works if you are a Grapes of Wrath fan). We were moving from Ft. Worth to New Jersey, and I finally worked up the courage to tell Jeremy how I felt. I wrote him a letter telling him how interesting and unique I thought he was. I told him I was moving but that I'd like to write letters to him, if he wanted. I slipped the notebook paper to him as I was getting off the bus on my final interminable ride home.

Three weeks later, I was settling into my new house in suburban New Jersey when I got my first missive from Jeremy. His scrawly boy handwriting covered three pages. He started telling me all about himself, about his artistic aspirations and joys. He drew me pictures and we even worked on a book together, trading pages and notebooks back and forth. We wrote for several years. We spoke on the phone often. This was the time before email—well before Facebook and Skypeing—so we had to wait to get each other's letters. Each day, I would walk down to the mail box in anticipation. The Frisky: 15 People You Should NOT Be Friends With On Facebook

Eventually, we fell out of touch. Like, way out of touch. I tried looking him up a few times, but because he has a really common name—and shares a name with a celebrity—it was nearly impossible to find him. Plus, since we lost touch before either of us went to college, I didn't have much information to go on.

This weekend, I tried again. It turns out my internet stalker skills have gotten much better. I was able to find Jeremy's mother's first name, and find her Facebook page. Through that, I found him. And oh boy, I wish I didn't.

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