What's with the double standards?

By YourTango

What's with the double standards?
Do double standards exist between guys and girls?

What's with the double standards in relationships? It's always been a touchy subject, especially for the girls, but when is it justified and when is it just flat out wrong? Let's be honest, when girls get together they talk about guys. Whether it's praising, complaining or venting, when there are girls, there is some serious girl talk is going down.

So let's talk about girls who are in relationships.

Relationships that work are all about give and take, you can't smother a person nor can you mold them into what you want them to be. One would like to think the reason you are with them in the first place is because you liked who they were when you met them, so why change them now? Maybe that's the problem with girls, they're always looking to change their guy into what they think he should be or act like. Even if deep down you only have their best interest at heart. I'd like to plead the fifth, but unfortunately I'm guilty as charged.

We've all been there and we've all done it...

Listen girls - if you wanna drive your guy away, then by all means smother away - but if you want to preserve your relationship, be fair and give the guy a chance to breathe, let him be himself. If he wants to spend some quality time with the boys and go to a Devil's game so he can see his man crush Zach Parise score a few goals, then let him. No one's saying you can never be included, but there's gotta be a balance. Don't worry girls, it's not a bash fest against us women, guys have their ways too (we'll save that for another day,) but if you have yourself a good one, don't sweat the small stuff and look at the bigger picture. He may not be perfect and trust me, every guy needs their girl to steady them when they veer off track, but you're not perfect either, so cut him some slack and work with him.

So when's it justified to tell your guy what to do? Never. You never wanna tell someone what they should or should not be doing. You're not their mother and would you ask for permission from him to do something? No. (Oh, and if you do, the double standard argument still applies, just reverse the roles). Getting back to justifiable acts. Normally when you wanna tell someone what to do, it means you don't agree with their logic or decision to do something, that's OK. You aren't going to agree on everything the other wants or does, but forbidding or guilt tripping someone into not doing something only complicates the situation and infuriates your other half and in turn, upsetting you even more. It's called communication girls! And not the kind that involves you talking and talking and yelling or crying, the kind where you each contribute your own view points and actually listen to each other.

I mean if he bails on your birthday to go out with the boys, okay you got a justifiable argument there, but always remember, there's gonna be a time when you wanna do something and you will most likely:

a) not even consult him b) automatically assume it's fine
c) just do it - or - d) all of the above.

I think most of us fall into the d) all of the above category. Go back to the old school saying, don't do to others as you wouldn't want done to yourself..you get the drift.

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