A Gal's Guide To Breaking Up


crying woman and phone
A roundup of YourTango's best breakup advice.

4. Focus On Yourself. It's time to ease up on the smack talk and get real. Spare your friends the victim speech. In fact, stop being a victim. Instead, focus on living the best life possible: a life that can be sustained without him.

5. Put Things In Perspective. As you're mourning your breakup, you may feel as if you're in the midst of the greatest tragedy that ever was. Putting things into perspective will help you move past them. For example, if he doesn't think you're right for each other, than he's not the right one for you. If things are ending, then something was broken. In the grand scheme of things, this will be but a blip in the story of your life. Something better is out there for you.


6. Rebuild Your Identity. In relationships, we often adopt our partner's habits, hobbies and friends, which is why we can feel so unmoored upon breaking up. How do you rebuild a life after such a jarring change? How do you find who you were before the failed relationship, and how do you establish who you are now? Turn to your support network... and to spend some time with yourself. Get to know the real you all over again.

7. Survive—And Move On From—Your Breakup. As painful as a breakup can be, you'll survive it. As our mothers often told us over the years when we were feeling particularly angsty: "This, too, shall pass." But we're hoping that you'll do more than just survive. Set a time limit on all your wallowing, and then begin to move on. Consider how to ensure that your next relationship is better. Throw yourself into life again. Lean on others. And—most importantly of all—don't look back.

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