6 Dead-End Dating Patterns—And How To Change Them

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Dr. Diana Kirschner's new book "Sealing The Deal" tells us how to change negative dating patterns.

Facing Your Killer Beliefs: The Exercises

Exercise One: Identifying Your Killer Beliefs
Read through the killer beliefs a couple of times. Write down the ones that caused any kind of emotional reaction or imagery in your mind. Add any other self-sabotaging thoughts that cropped up while you were working with the list.

Exercise Two: How Your Killer Beliefs Play Out
Pick out at least one and as many as three of your killer beliefs. In a journal write out several real-life examples of how these destructive beliefs played out in a past relationship. Tell each story with: a) a beginning that describes your partner and how you came together; b) a middle that describes how the relationship worked when you were together; and c) how it all ended.

Now describe how these killer beliefs play out in your current relationship.

Exercise Three: Facing the Dead-End Future
Be brave and journal realistically about how things may end with your current partner if you do not identify and deal with your killer beliefs.

Exercise Four: Your Chosen Thoughts about Love
If you were your own best friend and love mentor, what helpful and loving advice would you give yourself that counters your killer beliefs? What thoughts would you like to have about lasting love? Write these out and post the paper in a private place, like your closet, where you will see it every day.

I am very proud of you for working on this! It takes a great deal of courage to dig deep to face painful thoughts, images, memories and feelings.

Click here to learn more about Sealing The Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love by Dr. Diana Kirschner. 

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