Dr. Diana Kirschner's new book "Sealing The Deal" tells us how to change negative dating patterns.
Killer Belief #3: True Love Does Not Exist; It's Just A Deal
Other variations on this theme:
• Men just use women.
• Only weak or needy people stay with each other.
• Relationships are merely tit-for-tat trade-offs, like a business deal.
• Lasting love is a made-up Hollywood and advertising fantasy.
• There are no really happy couples, only ones that have settled.
• Lasting relationships are not about love, they are about compromising for the sake of the children.
• The best I can hope for is (fill in the blank).
This killer belief creates cynicism and hopelessness about true, caring, passionate and fulfilling love. No matter how kind or caring the guy is towards her, this woman still wonders, "What is he after?" "Does he need a trophy woman to look good?" "Does he need help to get a new job?" Loving acts are seen as barter chips to get something in return. If a man feels only that cynicism, he will walk away.
Warning Signs: It is baffling: even though you are successful and can get what you want when it comes to your career, your skill sets don't work when it comes to attracting men and creating a love relationship. And you think they should work in that arena too!
Next: Killer Belief #4