The only thing women love more than weddings is taking their boyfriends to weddings. This is for three major reasons:
1. We hope some of the romance rubs off on you.
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2. We get to show you off in a suit to our friends and family.
3. We get to slow dance with you.
So when my boyfriend of almost a year refused to dance with me at my cousin's wedding, I broke up with him. MyDaily: The One Thing No One Ever Told Me About Getting Married
It would be petty, superficial and simply irrational of me to have ended a relationship based on something so trivial, right? Wrong. I broke up with my boyfriend because he wouldn't dance.
I know this is exactly the kind of fodder men all over the world are looking for so they can point at it and say "See? See? Do you SEE how crazy they are?" and for that, I truly apologize. But I would still like to share with you the story of how the lack of boogie in my relationship was the perfect metaphor for its ultimate failure.
Obviously, it wasn't always bad. I met Hunter* through a mutual group of friends, but had never really had any extended conversations with him until early last year. We both attended a Valentine's Day dance party in Brooklyn where our friend was DJing. Hunter was sarcastic, funny, smart, and handsome, so when our banter resulted in his buying me a drink, I certainly didn't resist. Did I mention this was a dance party? Hunter and I spent the night talking and dancing. What a ruse, right?
We began seeing each other after that night. Hunter had great taste in coffee shops and restaurants, taught me how to use a 35mm SLR camera, and shared my passion for bourbon and desserts. He cooks amazing breakfasts and is killer at crossword puzzles. By April, he was my boyfriend.
My cousin got engaged that summer and began planning a wedding for November. I was thrilled to bring Hunter as my plus one. I wanted him to meet my extended family and for us to get dressed up to eat tiny little appetizers and drink champagne. Due to Hunter's work schedule, we hadn't been seeing as much of each other as I would have liked, so I was happy to have scheduled an evening with him away from the crush of the city. I was also hopeful that an over-the-top Long Island love ceremony would inject some sort of fresh romance into our flagging relationship.
Seriously, what is more romantic than a slow dance? I can close my eyes right now and be taken back to sweaty, prepubescent hands gingerly touching my waist while K-Ci & JoJo's "All My Life" played as the last song at the school dance. It was magic. It is not often in my adult life that I get the opportunity to be swept off my feet and twirled a little. I wanted the K-Ci & JoJo butterflies back.
Sadly, my high expectations for my dashing boyfriend to wake up from his romance coma to lavish me with affection never came to fruition. He had worked late the previous evening and didn't mince words when it came to expressing his general lack of enthusiasm for making the trip out to Long Island. MyDaily: I Had An Affair With My College Professor