Relationship expert and dating columnist Andrea Syrtash dishes out some non-traditional advice to singles trying to find a perfect match: simply date your “non-type.” After playing the dating game for several years, she says women tend to fall into a relationship rut, attracting the same type of guy that never seems to work out. Syrtash says that it’s not that she’s not into them – the guy is just not their type. In He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s a Good Thing), Syrtash entices readers to date outside their norm, discard their dating rules, and start fresh. With stories from real women who found happiness with their non-types (NTs) and a practical approach to dating, Syrtash shows that true love can be found.
Sometimes it’s hard to think about dating someone outside your own visual dating box, but Cupid caught up with Syrtash last week. See what the author had to say:
The advice you give goes against the norm of dating rules. What did people say when you told them the premise of your book?
My advice seems counter-intuitive at first but then many people have admitted that it’s really logical! I’m asking the reader to break her dating pattern. Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results…so I’m trying to inspire the reader to date – and do – differently.
How hard is it for people to look outside the box and stay away from their “type”?
Most of us are creatures of habit and we do what we know. We think we know what kind of person is best suited for us, even if relationships with that ‘type’ have never worked.
To find success in love and in life, a certain amount of (smart) risks have to be taken. If you want to find new results, you have to be open to venturing outside your comfort zone.
What are the best ways to break that cycle?
The first key to breaking a cycle that’s not working for you is to identify your pattern. In the book, I ask the reader to consider: If your dating life were a movie, what would it be called? How would it begin or end? What character would you play? You’ll likely see themes pop up, some of which you may not even be aware of.
A big pattern many women have is dating the potential – not the person. In this case, you may want to make a commitment ahead to pay attention to what the man is doing TODAY (not what he promises he’ll do ahead). Also, more women need to put emphasis on a man’s actions more than his words.
What will the reader learn about ‘types’ when she/he reads your book?