Community

Dear Dr. Romance: I Was Tired of Being His "Booty Call"

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I Was Tired of Being His "Booty Call"
When you're in another country & the distance between you & your spouse grows, you do have options.

Dear Dr. Romance:

I'm at a loss as to what to do. I'm married to a man that I sleep in the same bed (our daughterco-sleeps with us) with but other than that not much else. We are in our thirties, and we've been married about two years but have been living togetherfor longer. In the beginning it was great, even after we got married we spent most of our time together. I got pregnant and we lost our first little girl when I was 8 months pregnant, and a couple months later I got pregnant with our little girl who's now two. Since I got pregnant the second time he's really distanced me. When he comes home from work he goes directly to his computer and plays games until we eat dinner,then he goes straight back to the games. On the weekend he goes out to play sports every Saturday while I watch our daughter and on Sundays he's usually working as well. The only things we do together are shopping and dinner, and he usually watches a movie while we eat.

More from YourTango: 49 Percent Of People Would Skip Sex For A Year To Have This


I just feel so lonely. It wouldn't be so bad but we live in the country he was born in, and I don't speak the language. He doesn't have a problem but the only people that I know are single men that usually spend their free time drinking or looking for girls. So I go to work and then come home everyday, and the only people I really talk to are students. I get so frustrated that most days I can't even stand looking at him because I've tried to tell him how I feel but he just doesn't understand or seem to care. I've told him I wanted a divorce but he ignores it- mostly because he knows I can't do it without his help. We stopped having sex more than a year ago because I was tired of being his 'booty call'- he wouldn't talk to me all day but in the night, he'd come rubbing up on me like a dog in heat expecting to get a warm reception. I want to keep our family together because I grew up without a father and I don't want that for my daughter; but I don't want her think that a woman has to be miserable to keep a man.

More from YourTango: About That Time I Made My Jewish BF Meet My Parents — On Easter

I've suggested counseling but he says it would be in his language, and I wouldn't understand it. I've suggested him reading books, but he can't be bothered, and I've even suggested that we start having weekly 'dates' all to no avail. I just don't know where I can start repairing our marriage- or how to come to grips that it's over. I don't want to have to return to the US during the recession when I have a very good job here.

Dear Reader,

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official