When she is stressed, offer to take some of her burden and help her relax. This can take many forms. For example, drawing a bath for her, allowing her some time to talk with you, or physically helping her with some of her tasks. You may find that allowing her, in everyday life, the space to be in her feminine role of being “cared for” will result in more space for you to occupy the masculine role of “caring for” her. Her natural desire to care for you will also be expressed, but in a feminine way. One man and one woman is a great recipe for sexual attraction! This isn’t “wimping-down” or feminizing your behavior. On the contrary, it’s being a genuine and confident guy who is considerate, helpful and patient with his woman.
When she’s off her center, or doubting your feelings for her, take her in your embrace so she can immediately feel your love for her - if that’s what you sense would most help her in the moment. Perhaps she would be better served by humor or by simply sitting with her and holding her hand or something entirely different. It is up to you to feel your love for her, intuit what she needs, and give it to her.
More from YourTango: My Woman’s Feelings When I Notice Another Woman
Remember to offer her your grounded presence. While offering empathy and deep listening, don’t allow her wild emotions to spin you into her vortex of feelings. You need to be able to handle her angry and fiery side without taking any of it personally or withdrawing. Be a guy who can hear criticism and not collapse into defensiveness. Stand up to her mood-storm. Have enough self-assurance to hold on to the perspectives that “this too shall pass” and “I choose love no matter what.”
Kiss her often (neck, shoulders, hands are great places to kiss her). In lovemaking, penetrate her genitally only when she has taken you into her heart, and her body says “Now!” This is not a “taming” of your animal instinct, but simply a sensitivity to her – an attitude and honoring of her flow of love. You are allowing her to receive you and celebrate a common desire with you. You’re staying attentive to her body cues and energy, and responding, but slowing down your movements. This will allow her time to feel, absorb and build her own passion.
Make decisions: Tell her what you want and ask her how your statement “lands.” For example, “I am really interested in Thai food this evening. Would you be okay with that?” This will sound better to her than, “Where do you want to go, honey?” By listening to what she says you are not giving up your masculinity. Just give her consideration and take her needs into account.
More from YourTango: Re-connecting With Your Lover
Lastly, give “good phone.” If your woman is like most, she will thrive with repeated confirmation (by word and deed) that the love connection is alive and well. Be conscious of your tone of voice, and be really present. Better to say, “Sweetie, I only have five minutes to talk, and I’m yours for that long,” and be totally attentive to her for 5 minutes before transitioning out of the conversation, than to try and listen to her for 30 minutes while trying to handle another task and then abruptly say, “Babe, I just gotta go. Bye.”