Men, I’ve upped my standards. So up yours! Be a swoon-master!


Men, I’ve upped my standards. So up yours! Be a swoon-master!
She wants to feel love from you ALL the time, so don’t be too focused on goals

How do you treat a woman once she decides to share her time with you? Ask yourself, “Who is the most important person in the room?” You had better have answered, “She is!” Don’t we want to give this special person — who treats us with such consideration and kindness — all that she deserves?

Part of my success with women is due to my comparing favorably with their previous experiences. Most men set a low bar and it’s easy for me to look good by comparison. Example: when you’re creating a meal together at home look for ways to contribute without being prompted. We’re talking the See-Do principle (see it = do it). If it’s her house, respect the way she wants things done. If you only wash one side of your dinner plates at home and she wants the bottoms washed also – wash the bottoms without complaint. (Silly, but I heard this true example!)


One of the common refrains that I hear from women talking about their men is: “If he knew how to approach me, I would open like a flower.” Start by softening your voice. Smile when you look at her. Open your heart and get that this person wants to enjoy being with you, and wants you to enjoy being with her. Pause. Appreciate. Cherish. Remember that she volunteered for the position of your girlfriend; don’t treat her like a draftee!

She would love to feel love from you all the time, so don’t be focused too closely on goals - like sex or getting to the restaurant on time. Orient to the present time; slow yourself down enough to feel honored to be in her presence; let a sense of gratitude and appreciation guide every action and the tone of voice with which you speak to her. Take your time. Dance with her energy. Smile with her. Your thoughts of work and other tasks can wait. Allow her to fill your being with present time light and wonder.

Be always thinking: “Is there some small action I can do to remind her that she is special to me, and that I think of her fondly and often?” The relationship is more likely to flourish if you’re thinking, “What am I bringing?” vs. “What am I getting?” Find out what form of giving makes her feel most appreciated or loved, and make that your primary “love language”, whether verbal praise, spending time with her, acts of service, gift-giving, touch etc. You’re a man, find this out and then deliver.

There are myriad things that require very little money or time. Small actions made by you are beautiful demonstrations of love for her. Realize that she notices more details than you probably ever will. For instance, I’m sure she puts serious thought into what she is wearing when she meets you (remember to find some aspect of that to compliment right away upon meeting).

Compliment her: praise is food for a woman, the more specific the better e.g. “I enjoy the way your eyes light up when you talk about…” is better than “You’re pretty.” She wants to feel that you pay attention to details, in general, and to her in particular.

Offer your body as protection: offer her warmth when she’s cold, a steady arm when she’s unbalanced, shielding when she’s exposed to danger. Hold doors open for her.

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