I am with a man who used to be very passionate and loved to make love to me and now he doesn't make love to me at all and its been this way for a couple of years now. He is 9 years older than me and I am 56. I am very attraction, sexually appealing, so men tell me, and have a positive attitude and am very kind and understanding. We don't even sleep in the same bed anymore. He says he loves me and we will be together forever and he's a nice man and is respectful but I miss the passion that was once there. He wont' admit he has a problem but the last time we were together, a little over a year ago now, he couldn't finish. He hasn't tried since then. He says he's tired or he used to. Now he doens't bother with excuses at all.
He says he's still attracted to me so why not want to be with me then? He sleeps on the sofa and do I really want to sleep with someone who is never going to touch me? When he drinks he will come to bed and hold me but it doens't go beyond that and is constantly telling me he loves me, or he used to. We get alone although I am more outgoing and he would rather sit and watch tv. I am positive when he doesn't trust anyone and keeps things from me. He also has a stash of money and doesn't talk about how much money he has. I am very open so this is difficult. I still care for him but the feeling is starting to go because I am not the type of woman who can live with out sex and the attentions of a man.
I don't know what to do; stay or leave. I hate to leave because we've been together for awhile and he used to drink a lot and it seems that when he has a couple of beers his personality changes for the better and that's when he's more loving and I see the passion again. We have been going through financial difficulties but we get by. We spend a lot of time apart because he watches reruns and I keep busy doing other things. Christmas is here and I doubt he will even get me a present and he is not going with me to my mothers for christmas cause he says he doesn't want to depend on anyone else for a ride. Our vehicle broke down so now we aren't even going to spend christmas together. I've about had it. Not only do I have to put up with no sex or any kind of physical contact, now I won't even be spending christmas with him and it doesn't seem to matter to him.
Nethertheless; with all this going on I still maintain a somewhat positive attitude and I treat him just like everything was fine because I can't be mad and him if this is a physical thing. He doens't care how I feel about this and has no idea I have been thinking of leaving, I have never been treated like this by a man in my life. Usually men can't get enough and are amazed by me. I am a very nice person, perhaps too nice, but I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. Any yet; there is no guarantee that I will find someone. I like a man a little rough around the edges and I can be a good girl and a bad girl too and have been both. I am a christian and I do nice things for him all the time, cook great meals, treat him like a king and now I feel like I am unappreciated.
I hate to break up our happy home but his secrecy and lack of interest are killing me. I am not insecure but like others on here; I thought it was me at first, but of course it is not. If he was more of a jerk it might be easy to just leave. We don't go anywhere together and I don't understand how he could treat me this way.