When we go out on a first date, it can be tempting to be swayed by our chemical attraction. Sometime
You can spot this type by the mattress that appears to be strapped to his back. He is confident and sexy and knows it. His hair is perfect, his smell alluring, and his body is rock-hard. He has the uncanny ability to sweep you off your feet…and flat onto your back. You rationalize. “I’ll just use HIM for sex. It will be different with me. I’m a big girl. I know what I’m doing. But afterwards you wonder what happened. Your friends may have warned you – his friends may even have warned you. You knew you knew better. You end up hobbling away form this type of man feeling bruised and foolish. And him? Like the song says, he’s “already gone.”
2. The Teflon Don Juan
This man is most frustrating. He appears to want a relationship, but then carefully shies away from it. His aversion is so subtle that it leaves you feeling bewildered. He just can’t seem to make a relationship stick. He will commit, but for only fifteen minutes at a time. This man is confusing because he comes on very strong at first. He starts off burning hot, showering you with attention. But just as soon as he feels he has you, his attention wanes. He becomes a phone-a-phobe. You want to call him, but you know you can’t call again. His phone has probably registered that last fifteen times you tired, and you can’t bear to listen to his voice mail message one more time.
3. Red Flag
Like a matador in a bullring who waves a red cape, the Red Flag man attracts our attention with the very thing that should repel us. Like the puzzled bull that charges toward the red cape, we race toward the Red Flag man when in reality we should run the other way. Just like the matador who steps away at the last second to revel a deadly surprise, Red Flag man often has an unpleasant surprise for us. Maybe he is secretly married, recently divorced, or made is money illegally.
What ever the red flag is we find ourselves running to him over and over again. Eventually, the show is over and the Red Flag man leaves the ring. We are left, bloodied, dusty and defeated. We tell ourselves, the next time we see a red flag we will run the other way. (Well…we at least tell ourselves we will.)
4. Great Potential
This is the man who is not quite right, but we see potential. Maybe he drinks too much or doesn’t have a job. Maybe he has a job, but he could have a better job. We tell ourselves that with our guidance we can make him better. We ignore the fact that our actions scream; “You are not acceptable as you are.” He begins to resent us, resisting all our good intentions. We push forward to the point of exasperation. Eventually he leaves for someone “who understands him better.” Or, maybe, just maybe, we gave up on our little project and asked him to leave. We went off to find someone more appreciative of our benevolence.
5. He’s a Sugar Cookie
This heartbreaker is so sweet and yummy; we could just eat him up. We look at him as if we are staring at a bakery window, wanting and salivating, imaging what it will be like when we get home with our treat. The problem with the Sugar Cookie is that he doesn’t reciprocate. His love is equivalent to sweet, empty calories – non-nutritious and ultimately bad for us. We can’t believe he’s just throwing us saccharine crumbs. So we make excuses for him, saying, “Oh, he’s so sweet, he’s just scared.” We fear if we push to hard he will crumble. If we try to find something more nourishing, we go through sugar withdrawal. The obsessive craving draws us back to him. The next thing we know, we are on another wild sugar binge. We walk away feeling bewildered, because he looked so good, seemed so sweet. How could we have ever known he would be so bad for us?
Of course, these are meant to be humorous generalities. But if you are a woman who had difficulties in relationships, these men can be all too familiar. If you are one of these women, you might want to check out: From Heartbreak to Heart’s Desire Developing a Healthy GPS (Guy Picking System). Available at bookstores or on amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Heartbreak-Hearts-Desire-Developing-Healthy/dp/098...