Why you should worry if you haven't made things "Facebook Official"
We all know Facebook can be a bit pointless and immature at times. But it can also be a great tool for examining your relationship -- or lack thereof. Your Facebook behavior can reveal telltale signs that one or both of you aren't fully committed to dating each other. Here are the five most common:
1. Your relationship isn't "Facebook official." This may sound like junior high crap, but refusing to declare your partnership via social networking may be a sign of insecurity, fear or a lack of commitment. If you want to make it FB official but are afraid of how your partner may react, ask yourself where this fear comes from. Are you afraid your partner will be uncomfortable with this public display of commitment? Are you afraid the relationship will crumble and you will be forced to change your status and face the humiliation of everyone seeing the broken heart symbol in their news feed? Or conversely, are you the one who doesn't like your partner enough to make it FBO? If you answered yes to any of these questions, it's time to examine why you're still in a relationship that remains such a secret. There are a few exceptions to this rule: 1) You're not displaying a relationship status for privacy reasons (although maintaining privacy on Facebook is laughable). 2) You have the world's most minimal Facebook account with little to no activity, or you don't know how to work Facebook. 3) Your partner isn't a Facebook member -- But in this case, you can still change your status to the general "In a relationship" or "Married."
2. You've been dating for awhile, and you have never appeared in your partner's profile picture. It's one thing if he never changes his picture, but it's quite another if he changes it weekly and you have never been in the picture. This may mean you don't quite fit into the picture of his life. I should note that this rule also has some exceptions. For example, if you have been married forever, you may not feel inclined to showcase your couple photos, as this is "old news." You might instead post pictures of your children, your dog, a cityscape, you making a duck face in front of the mirror. But as a general rule, happy couples proudly display loving photos on Facebook.
3. You often communicate with your partner via Facebook. Why are you writing on your partner's wall all the time when you could be talking on the phone or hanging out in person? This makes me think there are real communication and comfort issues. If you want to send a video link, fine -- but don't ask how your partner's day is going or write something mushy. Which brings me to my next point...
4. You write corny things about your partner for all to see. There is nothing worse than seeing this: "Today is me & Jimmy Joe's 6-month anniversary. I love you, baby, and couldn't imagine dating anyone else. You're my soul mate, my best friend and the love of my life. XoXo Forever and Always." If you must say this typical garbage at all, save us all a barf and do it privately. Openly discussing your relationship in Facebook world makes me wonder what relationship problems you're hiding from the real world.
5. You or your partner talk to your exes on Facebook. In Facebook world, it's acceptable to wish an ex happy birthday, but it's very unacceptable to send each other messages or write frequently on each others' walls. Facebook has become the culprit for many divorces because it provides access to past loves that would otherwise be unreachable. Don't fall into the trap. And if your partner talks to exes on Facebook, it's time for a serious talk.