He Calls Me Ethel!

Who is Ethel? Ethel is me and I am Ethel, at least that’s what I’m told. Spank refers to me as Ethel because he has a “boring” wife. When I think of myself I don’t usually equate boring to me. Heck, I think I’m a pretty fun person and kind of funny too. Spank, on the other hand, has these unrealistic expectations of married life. Here’s how...

It’s 9:00 pm and the kids are tucked away in their rooms supposed to be sleeping. This is our quality time. Spank is lying across the bed perusing Facebook on his laptop. I am laying opposite him working on my website on my laptop. We are both clearly in our own little worlds but our feet seem to keep brushing against each other bringing us back to reality.

Spank closes his laptop, puts it on the floor, turns the light off, and gets under the covers.

‘Good night Ethel’ he says as he closes his eyes.

I jumped up, not ready to go to bed yet, and turned back on the lights.

‘I got your Ethel!’ I said with a smirk. ‘Why do you keep calling me Ethel?!’

‘Cuz you’re so boring. There is nothing fun and exciting about you.’

‘Tell me then’ I said quizzingly ‘what are you expecting me to do?’

‘I don’t know but I need to be entertained’

‘Entertained how? I ask you to play cards and you say you don’t want to. I try to watch movies with you but that never works so how can I be fun to you’.

‘Why don’t you put on a bikini and give me a massage, or facial, or pedicure! That would entertain me. Swing around the pole! When you wear my tank tops put on some heels. Yea, I like that. That’s entertaining!’

Laughing, I said ‘that’s work for me! That’s not entertainment and that’s not something that would be done nightly. That’s a special occasion every blue moon thing. You crazy. We live together! I can’t entertain you every night!’

‘Ok, Ethel! Go to sleep Ethel!’

This was my evenings comic relief. I’m convinced this man wants a rock star life on a poor mans salary. LOL…. Unrealistic and adult ADD = Spank

Who does that!

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