Contrary to what you've heard, most men don't want to date their mothers* (marrying is a different story, hi-oooooo). There's a certain part of being a guy—especially a guy under 30—that engenders a certain air of personal invincibility. While we all know that a bullet or a bout of Ebola would cut through us like Thai food through an Irishman, we like to project that we can handle basically anything. This is particularly the case when we're in that phase of a relationship where neither of us acknowledge that we sometimes poop (more on that at a later date). To that end, we really don't want to see you when we're sick.
Most guys I know get something that can be approximated as flu-like once or twice a year. With a decent amount of sleep and low-quality television, we can generally shake it in 24-48 hours. However, during that convalescence, we might be less than interested in hanging out with you. This is for a number of reasons, ranging from our runny noses are not attractive or fear of outbreak** to you seeing us reduced to Kleenex and Vicks Vapoo. Some part of courtship involves conforming to prehistoric expectations, and one of those expectations is that men are tough enough to protect their ladies through thick and thin. It's a little tough to portray that image when you're feeding a fever or starving a cold and have the kind of red nose that WC Fields would envy.
While the "I'm not like other guys, I swear" phase of a relationship doesn't last particularly long, most dudes still like to hang onto that façade of invincibility as long as possible. The first time that you see us weak, things change. They probably change for the better, frankly. But, shared vulnerability is the basis for strong relationships, and is a huge step. It's hard to go back to stoic, sexy and swag when you've seen just how much sweat we can pour into our bed linens during the course of a common cold. 5 Secrets Of Couples Who Never Get Sick
So, what do you do when we're feeling miserable? Nothing. No one is willing to be vulnerable and absolutely honest until the situation forces itself. There are certainly guys out there who are unabashedly unashamed of their lack of constitution. Do you really want to date one of those light-weights? As for the rest, wish us the best of luck, offer to drop off a Lipton packet and we'll see you on the other side a few pounds lighter.
Despite what Salon may tell you about single, young men having a tendency towards a Peter Panglossian existence, most guys are tolerably self-sufficient. We may not make it to the dentist that often, eat enough green, leafy vegetables or know what a bedskirt is, but we get by... with or without your delicious homemade chicken noodle soup. Men Stuck In Adolescence: Why It's Everyone's Problem
*Note: And most of us only passingly want to fistfight our dads. Oedipus!
**If this could take us down, toots, you don't stand an ice cream cone's chance in Khloe Kardashian's underpants.