Why I Am Boycotting The Kardashians Forever

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kim khloe kourtney kardashian
Kim Kardashian is worse than Bernie Madoff. Here's why.

I used to think the Kardashians were entertaining, especially on long winter nights when all I had the energy to do was pop on my Netflix and indulge in a Keeping Up marathon. Sure, it was always transparent that Kim rode to fame on the back of her ex-best friend Paris Hilton and the infamous Ray J. sex tape, but I thought it was all harmless fun. The family's drama was exciting to follow (and required very few brain cells); I liked Khloe's outspoken bitchiness and enjoyed hating on Scott. And their outfits were such eye candy. The Kim Kardashian Curse: Till Death (Or Success) Do Us Part

But even I will never be able to watch that show (or any of its horrible spinoffs) ever again. Kim Kardashian and co., we're officially done. I will never watch anything on TV with you in it. I will never stop into any of the Dash stores. And I will certainly never buy anything endorsed or advertised by you, not that I ever did anyway. Ever since you threw a disgustingly opulent $17.9 million wedding, and then promptly got divorced after just 72 days, in my mind, you've crossed the line between "stupid, guilty pleasure" to "I'm considering never having children because of horrible influences like you." Yes, Kim, you make me fear for future generations, and this is coming from someone young, far from humorless, and who enjoys reality TV and celeb gossip. 5 Things Kim Kardashian Can Do Now That She's Single

I have absolutely no doubt that Kim's wedding to Kris Humphries was a sham to drum up publicity; a scheme dreamt up either by "mom-ager" Kris Jenner or by E! It absolutely worked — millions of people tuned in to the pompous four-hour wedding special; and for a few days, it seemed as though the Kardashians were our royals (how sad). Then we wasted weeks of our time on will-they-or-won't-they (get divorced, get pregnant, etc.) banter. I'm ashamed to admit I did it too! I even predicted their damn baby names. Although lots of things in the semi-celeb world are done so talentless people can get the publicity they crave — charity parties, product endorsements, reality shows — this wedding, with its speedy divorce, crossed the line. It's insulting not only to the institution of marriage but to current state of America. People are now protesting down at Wall Street and everywhere around the nation because they had been ripped off by huge corporations, and some woman who does nothing but look hot all day is laughing all the way to the bank. Enough is enough!

And so, despite this post's suggestion that Kim should start dating other basketball players, I have a better idea for what she should do next: Sweetie, there's a 20-karat diamond ring stuck to the bottom of your swimming pool.

Okay, okay, not really. But I do think Kim needs to get out of the spotlight for a while and reevaluate her own life. When you're pretending to be in love for publicity or financial purposes, you've got some serious issues. And there's undoubtedly real love missing from your life. 

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