My theory is that there's something to be said for the "thrill of the chase" involved in not knowing, and also some level of "safety" in this chase. I'm basing this on an untold number of years of being a gal and thousands of drunk-brunch conversations with my fellow women folk. The chase? Super fun and exciting! It's fuel for the "does he?" or "doesn't he?" fire — and perhaps the reason one just might play The Smiths purposely just loud enough for the man in question to hear and spark conversation. The safety? It's the reason so many women fall in love with their gay male friends: what you don't have can't hurt you. If you can prolong the chase, you're procuring a level of self-preservation for yourself. 11 Things Never To Say To A Single Woman
Yes, women do enjoy positive attention from men, even the ones we'd never consider dating, but it's the guy who's playing coy, the one with whom we can't tell whether he's flirting or not — that gets us every time. It's hard to like someone who puts all their cards on the table. It's as though there was no effort to be had, the challenge has been subtracted from the equation, and you're left with this mentality of "What now?"
I will never be reasonable in my choices of men. I will never go for the one who likes me immediately, I will never want the who makes me feel as though I earned him with my charms and quirks. I'll go for the one whose intentions and feelings I'm never quite sure of, who may have a skeleton or two in his closet. I need that fire of mystery to burn in my veins: I know I will have "won" in some way when he's sleeping next to me at night. I don't want that chase to ever completely end. Uncertainty still leaves room for pedestals, and I don't fall from pedestals.
But hey, that's just my opinion on the matter. And I'll believe it despite what my therapist says.