Halloween Heartbreak: I Painted Myself Blue To Get Him Back

In October 2008, my life was falling apart.

I had just gone through a tumultous breakup with my boyfriend of four years. I was stuck in a dead-end job. As if that weren't enough, I was hopelessly pursuing an unavailable boy — yes, let's call him Boy, very fitting — the selfish, charming kind who exudes trouble. He had just spent six months carrying on our little fling, only to realize he still loved his longtime girlfriend and return to her.

Yup, I was the other woman. I am not proud of this fact. Years later, it still sticks to me like gunk to dishes. I pretty much want to reach my fist back through time and beat the shit out of myself. Don't get involved. He's making it clear he just wants to have fun. He has all sorts of issues. 

But there I was on Halloween 2008, splayed out on my couch, starting in on a second bottle of white wine and loudly cursing Boy as I got ready for a party where his band would be playing. My friend Laura was in town — she was busy putting fake blood on herself and didn't realize how much I was drinking. No one did.

For weeks, I'd been planning to dress as Smurfette. My mind was so heroin-ed up on Boy that I couldn't admit to myself I only chose the costume because he once mentioned it'd be cute. One of my summer dresses reminded him of the impish blue character. At the time I told myself it would be a fun inside joke, it would bring us closer together, it would … He has a goddamn girlfriend, you idiot. Looking back, I realize I did it to get revenge. I wanted him to feel bad. "Look, I went out of my way to dress up for you, and you still dumped me!" I never realistically thought he would come back to me. I wasn't even sure I wanted him to, but I did want him to regret his decision. This Year's 5 Hottest Halloween Costumes For The Ladies