Ah, all the choices. Let’s see, a prime suspect could be Avatar’s Sam Worthington. Being just weeks older than him, makes me think, “perfect camaraderie.” The quintessential Hot in a Box, Jake Sully gets a solid “maybe,” but let’s move on. Everybody’s past and present favorites could very well be the likes of Justin Timberlake and Ashton Kutcher. But, alas, when I think of these guys I just want to feed them some banana pancakes, a bowl of bacon and an extra large Orange Julius. After that, I think I’d want to grab at their waist and see if they fluff up like a pillow! Really, come on, we need to brainstorm a little more. I get it, a few decades ago, I also would’ve had 21 reasons to jump Johnny Depp’s street, and Captain Jack Sparrow is a man after my own heart with his everlasting palate for rum, but all you ladies are picking men who are far too skinny.
I know, nothing makes a girl want to bite her fist in lust faster than a shirtless Channing Tatum or Ryan Reynolds (who are happy mediums), but let’s consider some men of the wider variety. Don’t get me wrong, there’s Shia, oh cutie pie Shia Lebouf. Let me elaborate. Cutie young thin mints like Shia are great for conversation but don’t exactly match the image of the headboard grappling type. With this one, I see myself having a few beers with and if I were to be propositioned by, I’d probably have to turn him down with a sexy kiss on his forehead and a gentle punch on the shoulder with a bright smile. These gestures would pretty much send the message, “You know I just don’t want you to get hurt, right?” (Besides, I’m not sure that I’ll ever get the idea of the boy from Even Stevens out of my head.) That being said, here’s my list of men who get to hit the light. Because I respect the thoughts, talents and personality of the men I sleep with in real life and in theory, please read my explanations. Ha!
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1. Alex Rodriguez
Over fifteen years ago, I fell in love with a rookie named Alex. Baseball is my favorite sport and A-Rod is still the apple of my eye. The running joke in my house is that as soon as my husband gives me a reason to divorce him, Alex gets first dibs. We debate about just how I’m supposed to get him.
Frankly, I think that Kim Kardashian owes a debt to both me and her mom for having good taste, because, look.
What happens when you take this?