Do I still fantasize about them? You better believe it. Many relationship experts would say that my interest in them is unhealthy; that I'm waiting for the unlikely to happen and, therefore, not opening myself up to men who are available. I argue otherwise. How is my harmless fantasizing about men I already know all that different from fantasizing about celebrities? I already know where I stand with them and there's no pressure. I don't have to be airbrushed and starving to get their attention. I can be myself and fantasize about myself as I am. I am not perfect, they are not perfect, and that's OK. We are who we are. So, even if Zak Bagans shows up at my house, I think I'd rather have C, P, or J simply because they know me and they like me anyway.
As women, we can find many men around us who might typify our ideal, but they are not as intimidating as celebs - they are attainable; they are available and, maybe, just maybe, they are interested in us too. A list of men we know and like in the real world can help to find confidence, to know that there are men out there who would want us as much as we want them. If nothing else, it gives a really good idea of what we want most in prospective partners, even if they are not Hollywood stars. In order to find happiness, we have to find acceptance within ourselves, and, I believe, the first step to doing this is accepting that humans are flawed; therefore, the ideal partner is the one who finds perfection in imperfection. So go ahead and remind yourself of the guy from college you would have killed for one night with - no matter how you've changed, your ability to be yourself, regardless of your faults, is always going to make you shine!
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