Raise your hand if the following offends you. You are undateable if:
1. You were home-schooled, because it's "not normal, and it's likely that you've inherited some not-so-normal characteristics yourself. Simply put, you might be crazy." Being Home-Schooled Taught Me How To Find Love Without Dating
2. You ever owned a horse, because "lurking underneath you is a monster that will chew us out the first time we don't fulfill your precious demands."
3. You won't eat chicken wings, because "you're overly self-conscious," "you're not a good kisser," and "you can't handle adversity."
4. You carry condoms in your purse, because "we know you're not just open to having sex, you're expecting to have sex."
5. You've run more than one marathon, because "once the race starts, we have to act like we care…holding a goofy sign and yelling 'good job runners!' to 20,000 people we can't stand…including you."
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Oh good, they've managed to attack us all. Glad we've established that. And for all of you ladies who took a job as a bartender to pay your way through college, don't worry. You're up next.
It's good to know that the very traits that might make a woman more interesting should now be avoided at all costs. God forbid you like running marathons for your mother who died of cancer, or you take responsibility for practicing safe sex, or you don't like eating chicken wings because you don't f'in like chicken wings. Wow, you're going to be single forever!
Many of you will probably say that I'm taking this too seriously. Especially when the writers behind 100 Red Flags state that you should "join us in having a few laughs." But saying "JK JK" after a bad joke doesn't make it more funny or less obnoxious, and it doesn't stop the narrow-minded guys out there from taking it seriously. And if it is all just one big, fat joke, who would take the time and energy to write this stuff up, let alone make it into a book?
Having that kind of idle time on your hands sounds like a HUGE red flag to us… and like two guys who obviously weren't home-schooled. Their parents would've taught them better.
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What do you think of these "red flags"?