"Let me introduce you to my co-worker's cousin's wife's dentist's son!" "Let me hang up the phone!"
Sometimes I think folks feel obligated to say something to make other people feel better and end up sounding crazy, coming off pretentious, or flat-out offending them. I know they mean well, but doggone, they can say some foolish stuff. I try to take that into consideration whenever I have a conversation about being single.
At my uncle's funeral a few months ago, one of the ministers I've known since I was a kid leaned forward in her seat as I walked by. "I'm tired of coming to see your family about sad news," she grinned. "When am I coming to do a wedding?"
"Welp, you're the one with the direct line to the Lord. Pray up a man for me to marry and we can have the wedding of your dreams," I snarked.
I can't speak for all singleistas — and really, I wouldn't even try — but I've got a list of things I know I'm sick of hearing or answering in my adventures in unmarried-ness. The Stir: New Vibrator Lets You Program Your Own Pleasure
11. Use this time to work on you. Anytime's a good time for self-improvement. I know some women need to decompress following a really bad or hurtful relationship, but singleness need not be the sole reason to chase a dream or chip away at a personal flaw. Shouldn't that just be a part of life, hitched or not?
10. Stop being so picky. A woman wants what she wants. But if expecting a man to have a job, his right mind, some manners, and all of his front teeth — and not the gold kind — makes a gal picky, then guilty as charged.
9. Just pray about it. With tsunamis and floods, hurricanes and storms, and the presidential election coming up, too, I refuse to bother God with the deets of my love life anymore. Unless He just needs a good chuckle. The Stir: I Give Up On Getting Married
8. Is that what you're wearing to go out? No, actually it's not. I was just about to change into my man-magnet lace bra top and hot pants.
7. I envy you. I wish I was still single. Can we be honest with each other right here? If you really wanted to be single, boo, you would be. It's free and available to anybody who wants to have it. Plenty of it to go around. So don't feign envy at my marital status.
Read more things single women hate to hear on The Stir: The 11 Most Annoying Things Single Women Don't Want To Hear
Written by Janelle Harris for The Stir.
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