Why would the person of your dreams...

There is one question that people ask me that stands out among all others.  Perhaps, it is because this particular question is the wrong question that they should be asking me... and themselves.

"Why can't I find anyone to date and build a relationship with?"

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Here is the answer... Stop trying to find someone.  Instead, attract the person who you want in your life.

The question that you really need to be asking yourself is... "Why would the person of my dreams want to date me?"

A relationship must be a place that you go to give... not a place that you go to take.

What do you have to offer?

Who are you?

What is your identity?

To help you understand what I mean by identity and as a model for the
rest of this column, you can find my written identity here... Who Is Bill Gladwell?

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First thing first, what exactly is identity?

Identity is simply the beliefs that you use to define your
individuality and what makes you unique from everyone else, and the
strength of these beliefs sets the boundaries within which you live.

You act consistently, and predictably, with your views of who you
truly are... whether that is accurate or not and whether that is good,
bad, or indifferent.

So, who are you?  No, really... who are you?

Take a moment and really think about who you are?  What defines you as a person?  What is your identity?

I recommend that you make a list.  Get it down on paper, because you
will need this information to design who you really want to be... the
you who will attract the person of your dreams.

Until you know where you have been and where you are right now, you will never know where you are going.

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Here is where I begin to blow your mind...

You can reinvent yourself!

You can become who you want to be... the you who will attract the person or your dreams.

You are at a crossroads in your life, or you would not be reading
this right now.  There are decisions that need to be made and actions
that need to be taken.

Forget your past.  Leave behind who you used to be.

Who do you want to be?  Who will you be now?  Make this decision, and make it with impact!

Follow these steps, let go of finding "The One", and begin to attract that special person...

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Step #1: You must be clear as to what "The One" means to you.

Make a list of all of the qualities that your special person will
have as well as the qualities they will not have.  What will their
beliefs be?  What will their values be?  How much education will they
have?  What are their physical qualities?  Eye color?  Hair?  Height? 
Weight?

Get detailed about their entire personality, their physical
appearance, their quarks, etc... Describe them in as much detail as you
can.

Many people ask me, "Doesn't this limit my choices by having such a detailed description?"