Love Buzz

Bore Or Lunatic: When Dating, Must You Choose?

By lemondrop. Posted on Nov 13th 2010.

A guy's perspective on drama as relationship kryptonite

If variety is the spice of life, then routine is the local anesthetic.

At first, it dulls the pain of uncertainty. Then it dulls the pleasure of certainty. Routine begets boredom, and nothing—nothing—can kill a relationship in quite the way that boredom can. lemondrop: How Lemondrop Readers Give Boring The Boot

When my editor and I were talking about this topic (you know my editor, the remorseless man-eating lounge singer who hates having to drink near babies) we hit on the fact that what keeps people like her and I single is the fear of "being done," the idea that once you do fall into a relationship, you've removed the element of possibility and surprise from your life.

This isn't to say I think all couples are boring and bore each other, nor could I possibly even pretend that I haven't made some effort to find a relationship. I just don't crave one now the way I used to back in the day, you know, like your average '70s-era adult film actor craved pharmaceutical-grade cocaine. lemondrop: How I Finally Got Over Only Liking Guys Who Never Called Me Back

But I feel like I've romanticized my singledom here, when in reality, it's not that simple.

I'm just so rattled by all the listless relationships I've seen that I think I might be suffering from Pre-Traumatic Boredom Disorder. Spending a goodly percentage of your time alone and drunk and having your neighbor thump her ceiling with a broom because you're playing Billie Holiday way too loud gets old, fast, yet you don't see me trying to correct this problem on Match.com. Because of my PTBD, I do one of two things: I avoid relationships, or I get into relationships with unsuitable, super-dramatic people. lemondrop: How To Break Up With A Guy—Without Being Too Mean

And I know I'm not alone here.

It's time we parsed good drama from bad in our endless quest not to be bored. Hey, ho, let's go.