Nutty Judge Crazy About Condoms

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gavel
Handing out prophylactics inside of nuts is frowned upon in Intercourse, PA.

You've probably heard this a million times before, but some activist judges really think it's their job to push public policy… even if they have to get their hands dirty. Per Huffington Post, a judge from Rough Trade, Pennsylvania (rather, Intercourse, PA) took it upon himself to make sure that various women were in desperate need of barrier protection from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

The judge, Isaac Stoltzfus, hid condoms inside of acorns and handed them to unsuspecting women. The judge was cited with disorderly conduct. He should have been cited with defying the law of physics by being able to fit a condom into a contact lens-sized space. Seriously, even the Rescue Rangers would be impressed with such an efficient use of nuts. The Government & Your Birth Control

Much like the homeless man who used to live in my neighborhood with a picture frame around his neck, and who would always say, "It wasn't me… I was framed," you'd hope that Judge Stoltzfus would at least have a cute catch phrase about "his nuts."

Though the judge's methods were less than savory, it would be great if his message was taken to heart: you can keep condoms anywhere and—since you can keep them anywhere—you should use them, because getting unintentionally pregnant or burnt by gonorrhea is much worse than a weird, old dude giving you a condom stuffed inside an acorn. Yep, pretty squirrelly. 

What say you? A pretty clever way to pomote safe sex? Or just plain nuts?

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