Can You Get Addicted To A Vibrator? We Find Out

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woman in bed grinning
After having the best orgasms of her life, our writer wonders: Can you get addicted to a vibrator?

Then I entered a period where using the wand began to make me feel incredibly guilty. I'd orgasm, only to be overwhelmed with the type of shame I would imagine a Catholic priest might have. I'd tell myself I had to quit or find another vibrator or get into a relationship that left me sexually satisfied but instead, when the urge hit, I'd give the golden wand another ride and go through the same shame spiral again. How To Use A Toy With Your Man

We tell ourselves all sorts of things when we become dependent on something. Like that we're not dependent, that we can stop at any time but we just don't want to. Or that we are but there's no harm in it. You're going to tell me that coming is bad? I was as devoted to my wand as other women are to abusive lovers, and even when I started getting lacerations near my clitoris (those towel recommenders, it turned out, had a point), I covered for my beloved, going so far as to ask my gynecologist if perhaps the little cuts were evidence of a disease. If you'd rather believe that you have an STD than cut down on using your vibrator, I think it's safe to say your relationship with that vibrator may not be healthy.

As an alcoholic in recovery for over nine years, I know that an addiction isn't determined by how much you do something but by how unmanageable it makes your life. And while the wand wasn't interfering with my career and I wasn't obsessing over it the way I used to obsess over cocaine, it caused me to continue doing something that ended up making me feel bad. Plus, as Dr. Gilda Carle, relationship expert and founder of DrGilda.com points out, I wasn't really getting everything I need. As she says, "Use of a vibrator is momentarily satisfying.  But it doesn't answer the need for a partner to hold you, converse with you, commiserate with you, and love you.  Psychologically, a woman may believe she's being satisfied, but she's losing out on the essence of true interchange. Vibrators are great fun for the short term, when a woman is between loves. But she should never be fooled into believing that her vibrator IS her love!"