Breaking up is hard to do... or is it?

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Breaking up is hard to do... or is it?

Pinkee here~ This week, I am addressing the question that many of you have probably asked yourselves a time or two...Is it EVER okay to break up with someone via text, email, or phone?

In general, the answer is no.  I do realize that these kinds of conversations are probably not your favorite, but in most cases you would be courteous and kind to break up with her in person.  No need to drag it on.  Just be honest and direct, and leave out the drama.  (She may try to throw it in, but you don’t have to bite.)

On the other hand, there are a couple of circumstances where you may be better off to use the less personal methods...

First, if it is someone you have barely dated, as in once or twice, maybe three dates.  There has been no sex.  You didn’t realize it until the last date was over and done with, but she is just simply not the one for you.  Why schedule another time together just to tell her you’re not interested?  Get it over with, so you can move on and she can too.  The phone in this case would probably be the kindest choice, including voicemail if she does not answer.  No one really wants to get an ‘I don’t think we should see each other anymore email.’  This could cause future email phobia, and you don’t want to be responsible for that! ;)

Second case scenario is as follows: you have reason to believe that she is a ‘rabbit boiler’ as Glenn Close was in Fatal Attraction.  There really ARE women like her in real life, unfortunately.  The wrist cutters, the stalkers, need I say more?  Mentally unstable.  And ladies, I’m not discriminating against you.  Mental illness knows no boundaries.  There are some men like this in the world, too.  This is the other scenario in which it would be acceptable, even wise, to do the breaking up via technology.  And then don’t under any circumstances have any contact with her after that.  Don’t answer her phone calls, don’t respond to her texts or emails, don’t agree to meet her for lunch to talk about it, you get the point.  And don’t be afraid to change your numbers and your locks if need be.  Sounds cruel, but making a clean break in a case like this is really the most compassionate way to handle things for both of you.

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