Is Your Male Friend Sabotaging Your Love Life?


guy and girl laying on blanket listing to headphones
Is your friendship purely platonic, or is he holding you back?

Jessica's story brings up a couple of points—platonic cross-sex friendships sometimes act as surrogates for romantic relationships. And they can be upended when one or both of the friends enters into a romantic relationship. For Jessica, being in a romantic relationship put her platonic relationship in the background. Being in a relationship tends to at once solidify and muck up platonic relationships: After all, when one or both of you are in a relationship, the friendship boundaries are even more apparent.

But for singles, platonic friendships can both be more valuable and more fraught with stress. How do you know, after all, if a relationship is truly platonic? Figuring that out can spell disaster for a friendship if one of you is interested in more than just friendship. And as Jessica's example shows, they can be complicated when one or both of you gets into a relationship. The Frisky: Crushing On A Friend


I do believe that platonic cross-sex friendships can exist. But they require both parties making their intentions clear from the get go. I have a couple of close male platonic friends—and I believe that part of what makes us such good platonic friends is that we've already sussed out that we have absolutely no compatibility in the relationship department. And surprisingly, some of my closest cross-sex friends are guys who I once dated but for whatever reason, the relationship didn't work out. Not immediately, but eventually, we've come to inject a platonic tone to our friendships, and since they know me better than most, they make great people to go to for advice and companionship.

What about you? Do you have any platonic cross-sex friends (or if you're gay, same-sex friends)—relationships that are tinged with not the slightest sexual charge? Tell us in the comments! The Frisky: Why It Sucks To Have A Gay Crush On A Friend

Written by Julie Gerstein for The Frisky.

Read more on love and relationships from The Frisky:

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